Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A Thinner Hawaiian Vacation
Hubby and I went to Oahu earlier this month as a "get away". We get to go every 5 years, and the last time we went, we had brought our children. The kids, of course, wanted to do anything and everything available. I don't blame them, I did too. By the end of that trip, I was exhausted and needed a vacation from my vacation!
This time, I had decided to take it slow, smell the flowers ( literally) and just enjoy the paradise around me. One of the "must see's" on this island is next door to the Temple, The Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). The first time we went, like I said, we had the kids, and it was fantastic. I loved seeing it through their eyes and learning all about our neighbors in the pacific islands. I wasn't quite sure I wanted to go this time (Been there, done that), plus I remember how tired I was by the end of the experience (Noon-9pm and still didn't see everything). But, I really didn't want to miss out on such a fantastic place, so I booked our tickets, and we went. We made a day of it since it is on the other side of the island from Waikiki. We went through Temple first, which is beautiful and fantastic!, and then went to the PCC. We met with our tour guide and the rest of the people in our little tour and walked the entire center. About 3/4ths of the way through, Hubby turns to me and says, "How do you feel? You can tell you are handling all of this walking and climbing so much better than last time!"
I felt on cloud nine after that! He was right, last time we came, I had to sit and take breaks all through the center. This time, we were at the front of our group and really kept up. I wasn't even breathing heavy!!! I felt so proud of myself LOL.
I get really hung up on hitting this plateau I am on, that I forget how far I have actually come. Last time we were in Hawaii, the only dress I could find to purchase that would fit me was a muu muu!! This time I bought 2 dresses! That sweet little remark, that he probably doesn't even remember saying, is enough to keep me on track and push me back into gear. Encouragement, goes along way baby!!
This time, I had decided to take it slow, smell the flowers ( literally) and just enjoy the paradise around me. One of the "must see's" on this island is next door to the Temple, The Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). The first time we went, like I said, we had the kids, and it was fantastic. I loved seeing it through their eyes and learning all about our neighbors in the pacific islands. I wasn't quite sure I wanted to go this time (Been there, done that), plus I remember how tired I was by the end of the experience (Noon-9pm and still didn't see everything). But, I really didn't want to miss out on such a fantastic place, so I booked our tickets, and we went. We made a day of it since it is on the other side of the island from Waikiki. We went through Temple first, which is beautiful and fantastic!, and then went to the PCC. We met with our tour guide and the rest of the people in our little tour and walked the entire center. About 3/4ths of the way through, Hubby turns to me and says, "How do you feel? You can tell you are handling all of this walking and climbing so much better than last time!"
I felt on cloud nine after that! He was right, last time we came, I had to sit and take breaks all through the center. This time, we were at the front of our group and really kept up. I wasn't even breathing heavy!!! I felt so proud of myself LOL.
I get really hung up on hitting this plateau I am on, that I forget how far I have actually come. Last time we were in Hawaii, the only dress I could find to purchase that would fit me was a muu muu!! This time I bought 2 dresses! That sweet little remark, that he probably doesn't even remember saying, is enough to keep me on track and push me back into gear. Encouragement, goes along way baby!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Successful plane ride!!!
Since putting on my weight, I have acquired a fear of flying. It isn't the fear of flying, or crashing, though I have always had that fear as well, but it is the fear that I am going to get onto the plane, find my seat, and not be able to fit or buckle up. I should say that this fear also applies to theme park rides. Something about those itty bitty seats that are so small I need my glasses to find them and then having other people see me struggle and not succeed in squishing and squeezing myself into them, really puts me on edge.
Anyway, I was flying to the Bay Area this weekend as a surprise trip, (which you can read all about on my other blog here http://mccutcheonclan5.blogspot.com/ ) and I felt that familiar anxiety building up. I would much rather drive the 10 hours than have to feel humiliation at not being able to fit in a seat.
So the time came for me to board, and OF COURSE I am in the middle seat!!! In between miss perfect pants, (tall, blond, thin, beautiful...you know the type) and a nice, young, attractive man. Why not, add salt to my wounds, go ahead!!!
I sucked up my pride, (and my gut) and slid into my seat. OH MY HECK! That didn't take any effort! Ok, now for the real test. I found my buckle and.....click! I did it!!! I was so proud of myself I was smiling like a circus clown. I couldn't believe how easy that all was. Yes the seats were still tight, but miss perfect pants and ALL the other travelers were uncomfortable. It wasn't just me!
After the weekend was over and I had to fly back home, I didn't feel the anxiety while waiting to board anymore. I was all prepared to squeeze in between two other passengers. Then God granted me an open row. Haha, I got all 3 seats to myself :)
Now, my fear of not fitting in the seats is null and void, I can focus all my fear of flying on the REAL threat, Crashing!
Anyway, I was flying to the Bay Area this weekend as a surprise trip, (which you can read all about on my other blog here http://mccutcheonclan5.blogspot.com/ ) and I felt that familiar anxiety building up. I would much rather drive the 10 hours than have to feel humiliation at not being able to fit in a seat.
So the time came for me to board, and OF COURSE I am in the middle seat!!! In between miss perfect pants, (tall, blond, thin, beautiful...you know the type) and a nice, young, attractive man. Why not, add salt to my wounds, go ahead!!!
I sucked up my pride, (and my gut) and slid into my seat. OH MY HECK! That didn't take any effort! Ok, now for the real test. I found my buckle and.....click! I did it!!! I was so proud of myself I was smiling like a circus clown. I couldn't believe how easy that all was. Yes the seats were still tight, but miss perfect pants and ALL the other travelers were uncomfortable. It wasn't just me!
After the weekend was over and I had to fly back home, I didn't feel the anxiety while waiting to board anymore. I was all prepared to squeeze in between two other passengers. Then God granted me an open row. Haha, I got all 3 seats to myself :)
Now, my fear of not fitting in the seats is null and void, I can focus all my fear of flying on the REAL threat, Crashing!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Dang Teenagers!!!
So I have been going to the gym with my 14 yr old daughter. I want her to gain a knowledge and dare I say enjoyment, for working out and staying fit while it it just for regular maintenance and not for a consequence to gaining weight.
Anyway, this child of mine, who puts up a fight to clean her room, or wash dishes or basically anything that requires physical labor, goes in to tan for the first 5 min's while I get onto the treadmill and start walking. By the time she comes out, I am sweating and breathing heavy and already hearing the evil demon in my head telling me I could stop early, "only do 1/2 a mile", "you can walk slower", " You did walk around the house more than usual this morning, you don't NEED to do as much today at the gym"....You know the normal crap. So she gets onto the treadmill, puts her Ipod in and starts dancing on the treadmill!!! I could'nt roll my eyes far enough into the back of my head. Then, I am sure it was just to show me up, she starts the machine and immediatley starts RUNNING!!!!
Oh-em-gee! Who does this kid think she is? Flippin' Jackie Joyner-Kersee??? Oy-Vay. So she is running, smiling, still dancing and I can barely hold my pace walking. In the time it took me to walk my 1 mile, she ran her 2. She even started 15 minutes after me. When I reached the end, I unplugged, wiped off the handles and stepped down. She noticed and decided to stop hers as well. She then says to me, "Is that all your doing mom?"
Needless to say, I felt very discouraged. I was sweating like an old hairy fat man and she hadn't even broken a sweat. I felt that she was one more point of proof that I had let myself go and I have a very steep hill to climb to get into a healthy state of being. I know she is young and in better shape, but I want to be able to do everything she can do. It is so hard to see my kids run, jump, play....etc. I know I will get there. I have to be patient. I have to stop comparing myself to my beautiful, talented, spoiled daughter. I won't be able to do everything she can do. and that's ok. Then I remembered I CAN do something she can't. Drive home!
Anyway, this child of mine, who puts up a fight to clean her room, or wash dishes or basically anything that requires physical labor, goes in to tan for the first 5 min's while I get onto the treadmill and start walking. By the time she comes out, I am sweating and breathing heavy and already hearing the evil demon in my head telling me I could stop early, "only do 1/2 a mile", "you can walk slower", " You did walk around the house more than usual this morning, you don't NEED to do as much today at the gym"....You know the normal crap. So she gets onto the treadmill, puts her Ipod in and starts dancing on the treadmill!!! I could'nt roll my eyes far enough into the back of my head. Then, I am sure it was just to show me up, she starts the machine and immediatley starts RUNNING!!!!
Oh-em-gee! Who does this kid think she is? Flippin' Jackie Joyner-Kersee??? Oy-Vay. So she is running, smiling, still dancing and I can barely hold my pace walking. In the time it took me to walk my 1 mile, she ran her 2. She even started 15 minutes after me. When I reached the end, I unplugged, wiped off the handles and stepped down. She noticed and decided to stop hers as well. She then says to me, "Is that all your doing mom?"
Needless to say, I felt very discouraged. I was sweating like an old hairy fat man and she hadn't even broken a sweat. I felt that she was one more point of proof that I had let myself go and I have a very steep hill to climb to get into a healthy state of being. I know she is young and in better shape, but I want to be able to do everything she can do. It is so hard to see my kids run, jump, play....etc. I know I will get there. I have to be patient. I have to stop comparing myself to my beautiful, talented, spoiled daughter. I won't be able to do everything she can do. and that's ok. Then I remembered I CAN do something she can't. Drive home!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Did you miss me???
Ok, I fell off the wagon :( I lost all self motivation. All will power went out the window. Basically, I got lazy. Again.
BUT I'M BACK!! After a sweet friend reminded me how much I love venting my weight loss horrors, I mean experiences by blogging, I am back to share.
A lot has happened since my last blog. I ended up having the surgery (LapBand) on June 27, 2010. I have lost a total of 60 pounds and then, I hit a plateau and just gave up. Those are pretty hard to get over. It seems like nothing I could do would help me lose anymore weight! Plus it was pretty easy for me to fall back into old habits. So quickly too! "I don't have time to work out", "I'm sick and so I can't", "I have such an active lifestyle with my family that I don't have time to eat well", blah blah blah. All the excuses that I used to get fat in the first place!
Well, I'm still not happy with what I see in the mirror. So, it's time to get active again! I have gone back to the gym. I am back running (walking) my big 'ol booty on that treadmill. I am lifting weights and pumping iron! Ok, not so much, but I AM back on the treadmill and doing my reps on the machines again. I have found an incredible support system of friends and family. I even have a group that is going to start working out with me every morning at 4 am. We figured that at that hour I won't be fully awake enough to fight back :) I am feeling really motivated. I am not back to walking 2 miles in an hour yet, but I am doing 1 mile in 18 minutes. That, I feel, is a great start.
SOOO, Here we go again!!!
BUT I'M BACK!! After a sweet friend reminded me how much I love venting my weight loss horrors, I mean experiences by blogging, I am back to share.
A lot has happened since my last blog. I ended up having the surgery (LapBand) on June 27, 2010. I have lost a total of 60 pounds and then, I hit a plateau and just gave up. Those are pretty hard to get over. It seems like nothing I could do would help me lose anymore weight! Plus it was pretty easy for me to fall back into old habits. So quickly too! "I don't have time to work out", "I'm sick and so I can't", "I have such an active lifestyle with my family that I don't have time to eat well", blah blah blah. All the excuses that I used to get fat in the first place!
Well, I'm still not happy with what I see in the mirror. So, it's time to get active again! I have gone back to the gym. I am back running (walking) my big 'ol booty on that treadmill. I am lifting weights and pumping iron! Ok, not so much, but I AM back on the treadmill and doing my reps on the machines again. I have found an incredible support system of friends and family. I even have a group that is going to start working out with me every morning at 4 am. We figured that at that hour I won't be fully awake enough to fight back :) I am feeling really motivated. I am not back to walking 2 miles in an hour yet, but I am doing 1 mile in 18 minutes. That, I feel, is a great start.
SOOO, Here we go again!!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
The Queen of the fat women leads the way!
Kirstie Alley has a new show on tv. It's called Kirstie Alley's Big Life on A&E. She has had a successful career in the entertainment world and has been skinny and large all in the public eye. She had also been torn to shreds by the media because of her weight. I don't know how she has been able to handle it! I would probably have used the razor blades by now! She is a much stronger woman than I.
So, she weighs herself and asks her assistant to give her her weight in British measurements. (14lbs = 1 stone) Soon she realizes that the "stones" are more than she counted on. She walks out of the room ready to give up! Arms in the air and feet stomping.
How many times have I done the same? Ignorance is bliss, denial ain't just a river in Egypt! If I ignore the fat or the numbers or the fact that the dryer didn't shrink my jeans, then I'm not really getting fatter. It's just water weight left over from my period! I just need one good pee..... Ppsshh!
To justify the weight in her head and stay on track, Kirstie remembers that she wants to focus on how many stones she wants to lose not so much how many stones she weighs total! She comes back in the room with more determination than before!!! Like I said, a stronger woman than I.
Somehow, Ms. Alley can manipulate her mind to get where she is still eager to change. Even after a moment of discouragement.
In my path to health, so many bumps are going to pop up in my way, I have to find what manipulation will work for me. What can I tell my inner dialogue to get it over those bumps? Either " I only need to lose 10 pounds this month " or " 1 dress size before spring break ". Even if our daily manipulation changes like our outfits, work it out!
Today, my inner dialogue keeps yelling that the gym is going to be too tough, so now I get to yell back, you are playing it up more than needs be. It will be over before I know it :) What will you yell back???
- posted from my iPhone just for you <3
So, she weighs herself and asks her assistant to give her her weight in British measurements. (14lbs = 1 stone) Soon she realizes that the "stones" are more than she counted on. She walks out of the room ready to give up! Arms in the air and feet stomping.
How many times have I done the same? Ignorance is bliss, denial ain't just a river in Egypt! If I ignore the fat or the numbers or the fact that the dryer didn't shrink my jeans, then I'm not really getting fatter. It's just water weight left over from my period! I just need one good pee..... Ppsshh!
To justify the weight in her head and stay on track, Kirstie remembers that she wants to focus on how many stones she wants to lose not so much how many stones she weighs total! She comes back in the room with more determination than before!!! Like I said, a stronger woman than I.
Somehow, Ms. Alley can manipulate her mind to get where she is still eager to change. Even after a moment of discouragement.
In my path to health, so many bumps are going to pop up in my way, I have to find what manipulation will work for me. What can I tell my inner dialogue to get it over those bumps? Either " I only need to lose 10 pounds this month " or " 1 dress size before spring break ". Even if our daily manipulation changes like our outfits, work it out!
Today, my inner dialogue keeps yelling that the gym is going to be too tough, so now I get to yell back, you are playing it up more than needs be. It will be over before I know it :) What will you yell back???
- posted from my iPhone just for you <3
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Woo hoo!!
I just weighed in at 262! AND, I am wearing my smallest jeans and I have to keep pulling them up!!! It is finally showing :D I feel so great and inspired to keep going! Seeing the numbers fall off is like having the best cheesecake drizzled with caramel and topped with whip cream and no inturuptions while scarfing it down! Or having an "O" !!!!!
That's enough weight to have given birth! TWICE!!!
Now to just keep going..... Happy day happy happy day! I might just have to celebrate with a all juice, no sugar Popsicle! Yummy (really want that cheesecake!)
That's enough weight to have given birth! TWICE!!!
Now to just keep going..... Happy day happy happy day! I might just have to celebrate with a all juice, no sugar Popsicle! Yummy (really want that cheesecake!)
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