Monday, May 23, 2011

This hit too close to home for me to not post it Enjoy!

WOMAN'S 1st. WEEK AT THE GYM


Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
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TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
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WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
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THURSDAY:
Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
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FRIDAY:
I hate that jack*ss Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
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SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
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SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Thinner Hawaiian Vacation

Hubby and I went to Oahu earlier this month as a "get away". We get to go every 5 years, and the last time we went, we had brought our children. The kids, of course, wanted to do anything and everything available. I don't blame them, I did too. By the end of that trip, I was exhausted and needed a vacation from my vacation!
This time, I had decided to take it slow, smell the flowers ( literally) and just enjoy the paradise around me. One of the "must see's" on this island is next door to the Temple, The Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). The first time we went, like I said, we had the kids, and it was fantastic. I loved seeing it through their eyes and learning all about our neighbors in the pacific islands. I wasn't quite sure I wanted to go this time (Been there, done that), plus I remember how tired I was by the end of the experience (Noon-9pm and still didn't see everything). But, I really didn't want to miss out on such a fantastic place, so I booked our tickets, and we went. We made a day of it since it is on the other side of the island from Waikiki. We went through Temple first, which is beautiful and fantastic!, and then went to the PCC. We met with our tour guide and the rest of the people in our little tour and walked the entire center. About 3/4ths of the way through, Hubby turns to me and says, "How do you feel? You can tell you are handling all of this walking and climbing so much better than last time!"
I felt on cloud nine after that! He was right, last time we came, I had to sit and take breaks all through the center. This time, we were at the front of our group and really kept up. I wasn't even breathing heavy!!! I felt so proud of myself LOL.
I get really hung up on hitting this plateau I am on, that I forget how far I have actually come. Last time we were in Hawaii, the only dress I could find to purchase that would fit me was a muu muu!! This time I bought 2 dresses! That sweet little remark, that he probably doesn't even remember saying, is enough to keep me on track and push me back into gear. Encouragement, goes along way baby!!


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Successful plane ride!!!

Since putting on my weight, I have acquired a fear of flying. It isn't the fear of flying, or crashing, though I have always had that fear as well, but it is the fear that I am going to get onto the plane, find my seat, and not be able to fit or buckle up. I should say that this fear also applies to theme park rides. Something about those itty bitty seats that are so small I need my glasses to find them and then having other people see me struggle and not succeed in squishing and squeezing myself into them, really puts me on edge.

Anyway, I was flying to the Bay Area this weekend as a surprise trip, (which you can read all about on my other blog here http://mccutcheonclan5.blogspot.com/ ) and I felt that familiar anxiety building up. I would much rather drive the 10 hours than have to feel humiliation at not being able to fit in a seat.

So the time came for me to board, and OF COURSE I am in the middle seat!!! In between miss perfect pants, (tall, blond, thin, beautiful...you know the type) and a nice, young, attractive man. Why not, add salt to my wounds, go ahead!!!

I sucked up my pride, (and my gut) and slid into my seat. OH MY HECK! That didn't take any effort! Ok, now for the real test. I found my buckle and.....click! I did it!!! I was so proud of myself I was smiling like a circus clown. I couldn't believe how easy that all was. Yes the seats were still tight, but miss perfect pants and ALL the other travelers were uncomfortable. It wasn't just me!

After the weekend was over and I had to fly back home, I didn't feel the anxiety while waiting to board anymore. I was all prepared to squeeze in between two other passengers. Then God granted me an open row. Haha, I got all 3 seats to myself :)

Now, my fear of not fitting in the seats is null and void, I can focus all my fear of flying on the REAL threat, Crashing!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dang Teenagers!!!

So I have been going to the gym with my 14 yr old daughter. I want her to gain a knowledge and dare I say enjoyment, for working out and staying fit while it it just for regular maintenance and not for a consequence to gaining weight.
Anyway, this child of mine, who puts up a fight to clean her room, or wash dishes or basically anything that requires physical labor, goes in to tan for the first 5 min's while I get onto the treadmill and start walking. By the time she comes out, I am sweating and breathing heavy and already hearing the evil demon in my head telling me I could stop early, "only do 1/2 a mile", "you can walk slower", " You did walk around the house more than usual this morning, you don't NEED to do as much today at the gym"....You know the normal crap. So she gets onto the treadmill, puts her Ipod in and starts dancing on the treadmill!!! I could'nt roll my eyes far enough into the back of my head. Then, I am sure it was just to show me up, she starts the machine and immediatley starts RUNNING!!!!
Oh-em-gee! Who does this kid think she is? Flippin' Jackie Joyner-Kersee??? Oy-Vay. So she is running, smiling, still dancing and I can barely hold my pace walking. In the time it took me to walk my 1 mile, she ran her 2. She even started 15 minutes after me. When I reached the end, I unplugged, wiped off the handles and stepped down. She noticed and decided to stop hers as well. She then says to me, "Is that all your doing mom?"
Needless to say, I felt very discouraged. I was sweating like an old hairy fat man and she hadn't even broken a sweat. I felt that she was one more point of proof that I had let myself go and I have a very steep hill to climb to get into a healthy state of being. I know she is young and in better shape, but I want to be able to do everything she can do. It is so hard to see my kids run, jump, play....etc. I know I will get there. I have to be patient. I have to stop comparing myself to my beautiful, talented, spoiled daughter. I won't be able to do everything she can do. and that's ok. Then I remembered I CAN do something she can't. Drive home!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Did you miss me???

Ok, I fell off the wagon :( I lost all self motivation. All will power went out the window. Basically, I got lazy. Again.

BUT I'M BACK!! After a sweet friend reminded me how much I love venting my weight loss horrors, I mean experiences by blogging, I am back to share.

A lot has happened since my last blog. I ended up having the surgery (LapBand) on June 27, 2010. I have lost a total of 60 pounds and then, I hit a plateau and just gave up. Those are pretty hard to get over. It seems like nothing I could do would help me lose anymore weight! Plus it was pretty easy for me to fall back into old habits. So quickly too! "I don't have time to work out", "I'm sick and so I can't", "I have such an active lifestyle with my family that I don't have time to eat well", blah blah blah. All the excuses that I used to get fat in the first place!

Well, I'm still not happy with what I see in the mirror. So, it's time to get active again! I have gone back to the gym. I am back running (walking) my big 'ol booty on that treadmill. I am lifting weights and pumping iron! Ok, not so much, but I AM back on the treadmill and doing my reps on the machines again. I have found an incredible support system of friends and family. I even have a group that is going to start working out with me every morning at 4 am. We figured that at that hour I won't be fully awake enough to fight back :) I am feeling really motivated. I am not back to walking 2 miles in an hour yet, but I am doing 1 mile in 18 minutes. That, I feel, is a great start.

SOOO, Here we go again!!!